Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Blissful marriage turns wreckage

I believe every family has a dirty laundry to clean. Whether it is big or small, there is something for you to clear off. However, will a blissful marriage turns into a wreckage after some time?

Today my cousin sister, M, broke the news to my mum that she wanna divorce with her husband. I paused to think a while. Gosh! (*breathing even harder to listen to what my mum says)

"Your cousin sister could not withhold the husband's temper and all the hurtful words he said during arguments."

Just a little story about her for you to understand...
I was speechless. I knew the marriage was shaken off. I would not want to name them to respect their privacy. M was married to J when she was only 21 in July 1999. I was already in shock when she told me the decision to marry at such a young age. In July 2000, she became a mother of a bright daughter (who is 7 now).
M was indeed enjoying her first few years of marriage until she had an affair in year 2004. Her husband didn't suspect her at all because he was outstation all the time. The flings came and gone for good. None of her flings lasted long. She was soon trapped in a not-so-happy-family. Her husband threw things at her during arguments. The bad temper was unbearable until the daughter knew how to scold his father "Daddy naughty! Daddy bully mummy!".
M just gave birth to her 2nd daughter in March last year. From the outside, they really resembled a happy family. But if you scrutinize properly, it just reminds you of the hot series of Desperate Housewives.

I am not sure how far this marriage of M & J will be taken to but I do not hope to witness another divorce in my extended family. I wish they had knew Christ at this stage. At least I know they can surrender all this to Lord Jesus Christ to fix it.

Coming to this point, how do we measure a successful marriage? Will the children continue to bless their parents with everlasting joy and help the parents overcome any stress? Divorce rates are increasing each year in this nation. If this is frightening, how do we encourage young adults to tie the knot successfully? This is no wonder people are delaying their marriages or rather remain celibate or single.

I do not want to remain dry and long-winded in this entry. Somehow it just turns out to be mind-boggling after hearing the news from my mum. It is tough to wish someone an eternal blissful marriage these days.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i dont know bout this....i always say, what you want when you are young is totally different than what you want when you have matured.

perhaps the case here.

7/3/07 11:29 PM  
Blogger piggy said...

it's hard to measure in this way.. what i wanted when i was young was someone as sincere as you.. does that mean that in a few years' time, you will change to the MR VILLAIN that I need to call Tele-Dera for spouse...??

7/3/07 11:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wth.....u know my personality. i am either hot or cold. there is no such thing as luke warm to me.

why the kokoi would i do so much for u if i wanted to marry and divorce with you?

u think little kids play sand?

7/3/07 11:45 PM  
Blogger piggy said...

Let's take your words as in "word for word". The world of internet shall be witness.

Guys are unpredictable too. Somehow when they are hungry, they will burst into rage, when they are busy with stress, they will be moody. Oh my....

7/3/07 11:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Life is such and such is life. Things always go the wrong way when the people we trust hide things that will affect us and the relationships that we hold dear. Telling up front hurts but hiding it will hurt even more. When M had flings and affairs, everything from that point went down the drain. Her husband would eventually find out how unfaithful she became as he was always working outstation but in this situation we can't play the blame game for both are responsible for what has happened. He works outstation so often that she doesn't get enough attention, she rarely sees her husband and temptations can come anytime when we are in a vulnerable state. Yes both guys and girls are unpredictable but the fact that when one another is willing to place everything in the hands of another like their own life then things change. I would die for you has no meaning till one really shows it no matter the situation. You see the kind of people who would say that are rare and usually never tell the other. It comes naturally from one's own heart. Hurting one another is just another way to say that things are not what they seem and my expectations have fallen short and I am having a hard time seeing it from your point of view. Things like this never are easy and in such states no one can keep their calm as it is and emotions will rage without control. For men their frustration will show in a form of actions as you stated that men can burst out and become hungry maniacs, for women they will start avoiding and crying and finding comfort in others with endless complaining. How then do we help such people? There is no one answer as it is. I too am lost in times like this even with all the knowledge and wisdom that God has given me I am still powerless never the less in such a situation. Human comprehension can only go so far but God truly understands what needs to be done.

12/3/07 2:22 AM  
Blogger she3p said...

it's sad....blissful wedding it is.....i dont know...it's sad....

i have a cousin who was only 19 when she's married..i think last year..due to "accident" loh...got a baby..preganant in her STPM exam year...at least completed her exams la....and she's already pregnant with the 2nd child....i hope they are happy....
but u know..marriage is not the answer to love...and etc...ppl tend to take it lightly nowadays...and children are the most innocent people when this happens..cos honestly..children cannot do much to hold them back..bcos...people are really selfish nowadays....and they think of themselves more tahn anything now...sad case...:)

21/4/07 7:34 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home